So you remember that whole steal some computer stuff to make a monster out of machine parts and electricity? I thought I'd give that another whack. This time I printed out map quest directions. Yeah that's right I had to do it! Laziest. Henchmen. Ever. This time we wouldn't get lost and have to rob second rate shit stores....
The area we were raiding was an electronics warehouse. It was basically a place where they held all of this stuff before shipping it out to their respective companies or to be shipped to make computers. It's sort of a staging area for computer parts. I didn't need anything specific, just something to carry an electrical charge. I didn't even really bother to storm the place fancy like, just blew the doors off their handles and grabbed whatever I felt necessary to make a 40 foot tall electrical demon. We did just that, and I used telekinesis (and my henchmen) to grab whatever we could, but mostly computer chips, long computer chip sticks, and the very large and square mother boards. We collected many a boxes, with many chips and boards and sticks! That was the first step of this monstrosity.
The second step was finding something to attach all of this too. Now, the mortal realm does not have any monsters of the 40 feet tall variety, so I just had to make due with the largest land walking animal. But African Elephants are a bit heavy so I just went with a really big ass gorilla. Have you ever tried to kidnap a gorilla?? Those things are nasty! It bit almost all of my henchmen and punches a few of them! I finally had to put a spell of binding and a curse of sleep on the damn thing, that way it wouldn't kill any of my henchmen.
Phase three was to take the computer parts and attach them onto the gorilla. Since I wanted him alive we couldn't just stick them onto his skin and leave it be, so my students had to use super glue or duck tape. The gorilla was constantly unconscious during the whole time, mostly because I knew he wouldn't cooperate.
Phase four was to activate the beast! I had him moved him to the hanger so he wouldn't destroy my house. We had to enlarge, and at the same time, electrify him! So I did both! With one hand I casted lighting upon the motherboards, and on the other a spell of growth. He slowly electrocuted and grew. He grew and grew and grew... and... well grew.... and he kept growing, actually, even after I stopped casting it. I guess I should have just blasted him once. The goal was complete, however he was far too large to handle, so we had to chase him out and into the city. Now.... I don't usually like to cause urban damage but, wow. This was awesome. He was shooting lighting out of his eyes, his hands, his ass, his toes. Wow! I did one hell of a good job.
Let me tell you of someone that lives in the city that I REALLY hate! His name is commander freedom or captain freedom or something.... but I call him commander dick. He's a total super man wanna be... Always flying around yelling FREEDOOOOM like some fucking william wallace wanna be dick weed. He's always fucking up most of my grand plans. If it's not this guy its that private dick guy. He killed my giganoid electrical gorilla! I didn't ask him to fucking butt in and take care of my messes! I had this totally under control as soon as I packed in all my henchmen into the shuttle and made sure they went to the bathroom and what not...
He just... killed him! What a dick... I would have sent him to the second realm eventually! And then, commander dick just flew in and decided to scold me! The Menacing Magic Man does not take to scolding! I lit his hair on fire and then catapulted his ass to the moon!
Shouldn't be seeing that prick for a while...
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