So today I said I was going to do a heist. That WAS the plan... but with yesterdays encounter with the private dick, I made plans to raid his place of business. I first sent in a spy to see if his team of assassins and muscle men were there. We got an answer when the spy flew out of the open door. Obviously they knew we were here, so we had no choice but to burst out of the bushes and begin assaulting them. We assaulted them with bael fire, lightning and many shards of dark ice, while they returned fire with their silly little bullets and knives. Some of them had swords, which was weird... considering we don't use melee weapons. Maybe they thought that they could get close enough to us to do any real damage. It was quite adorable, really.
We advanced even further from the bushes and into the parking lot. Some of the troops said we should take position into the pay less shoes, and I said that we should take refuge behind the many cars that are around us, they are the suburban trenches! I then floated up in the air, summoned lighting around my body, and summoned a thousand flies as a smoke screen! My students of darkness charged the room, and the plan was to grab him. At the time I was unsure who we had gotten, but we had someone relatively his height, same shoes and same pants. We had to retreat because I had five henchmen down, and I got a paper cut somehow... I think someone threw a business card thinking they were gambit from x-men. For one, it was not a playing card. Everyone knows it only works with playing cards. Secondly, it did not explode.
We made a hasty retreat back to the shuttle vans and drove off. I put a spell of unholy binding on our prisoner, whilst we drove to the taco bell to get snacks! The henchmen were hungry.... Anyways! I found it odd that none of the private detectives men were not chasing us... Perhaps we were just that good! My smoke screen of flies had worked! We took him to my lair and put him and a group of my students of the night into the dark dimension! We had him tied, strapped, and bounded to a chair! We began to roam him, question him, PROBE HIM!! But he would not give up his secrets! I then began to dive into his mind to reveal all of his deepest fears and bring about the end of my nemesis, AND TAKE MY REVENGE!
Remember about a week ago or so when this part gets weird? well it turns out the man was afraid of giant eyebrows and grilled peanut. I commanded the chef to bring us a sandwich of grilled peanut butter and banana kind, and then commanded one of my henchmen to bring us some giant eyebrows! The chef brought the sandwich and the student rolled in a television with a digital video disc player. No idea why either... he mentioned something about a Japanese animation called Fooly Cooly... the words were quite foreign to me, and I consulted my big book of spells to ascertain their meaning! Not finding them, I made a note to seek my master later. We set the sandwich on his lap and hit the play button. A man with giant eyebrows came to the screen, and I giggled with delight! I pulled his hood off in ecstatic delight-...only to find out we had the wrong FUCKING guy!!! I boomed to bring me the student who grabbed the wrong person, so that I might melt his face off!!! Although on a positive note we did freak him into insanity and into some sort of insane coma... he was foaming at the mouth and his pupils had dilated. I simply tossed him into the vortex of nether return... Not like he was any use to me.
After that useless thing, it was growing quite late, so I grabbed a book, and put on a group that I recently heard while hunting a rogue succubus in Brittan, the Ramones. I asked them what their relation to Ramon the magician, but they told me to "Sod off, wanker." Not sure what a soldering iron had to do with anything... And then I grabbed my pet Oscar and we got into my comfy chair. I've had Oscar for a few years now, he is my hedge hog. He loves sitting by the fire place with me.
So this day was a total failure... hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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