Monday, March 21, 2011

Journal entry 24

So I was driving home from therapy when a large van of some sort came barreling down the driveway with some white, red headed buffoon sticking his head out of the window, waving some sort of firearm. He skidded to a halt and demanded that I step outside of the vehicle. I complied, and simply stared at him. Who the hell orders ME around!? The only one who can give me orders is Master and my father! I gave him the chance to explain himself before I turned him inside out with a flick of my wrist. He called himself "The Marine" and that he was to end my reign of terror. You know what I call him? A dangerous hill billy with guns.

I flicked away his silly van with but a thought and a twist of my wrist. Now what has he got!? Well, for one, he had a very large barrel of a weapon pointed in my general direction, that's what. I retreated behind my jaguar as the bullets began to fly, HITTING MY JAGUAR!! This could not be tolerated! However I was a bit busy cowering behind the car... not used to getting shot at...

I immediately lifted my jaguar up and used it as a gigantic shield! The gun crazed idiot kept shooting his ridiculously oversized rifle thing at me! I hate myself for doing it now.. but I had to throw my car at this thing. You know what happened!? He jumped over the damn thing!! I then proceeded to shoot fire and lightning in his direction! He simply rolled and dodged it all! It's like trying to shoot a cat high on catnip!

You know what this all reminded me of? A really bad movie... The only thing I could think to do was teleport away. Course I didn't leave without my whole "Next time!" speech. I love doing that...

So, I was home now, and I had to call the insurance company and let them some some insane hill billy blew up my car. Apparently it's not covered in my insurance... BASTARDS! So now I'm pissed, and I'm car less on top of it. GREAT! I summoned the henchmen and told them to load up in the van! We're going to find "The Marine."

I told them to drive to my last location, and of course he wasn't there. I didn't expect to find him of course, I was going to track him by his heat signature. I used the senses of the ninth way, and began to look for his tracks. Now... for some odd reason he left no tracks. What sorcery was this?! I began to ponder why a human would not leave heat traces. I gathered the henchmen and presented them with this query! One said the man might be a robot... which  I found to be utterly ridiculous... Perhaps the fool was covering his tracks.... But in any case, it appeared I had found a new enemy... these freaks just pop out of nowhere...

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