so the other day I was walkin down the street and this guy looked at me funny, right? So I sent him to another dimension. The moral? The Menacing Magic Man don't like funny looks...
So most of you don't know this but I have no significant other. Frankly I find the opposite, well not boring, but a bit mental. Especially in the mortal realm. I haven't found myself a nice witch or necromancer wife that could, well, stand my lifestyle. So I teach the students by myself.
Speaking of which! You're all probably wondering what I've been going on about with the whole teaching thing. You see I am actually all of my student's master. I don't get new students often, but I am basically the head instructor along with charlie and a few other of the seniors.We work on weapons training, hand to hand, summoning, basic magic, advanced magic, and a few of the students are learning stealth maneuvers. We just started that, I haven't gotten the chance to use it yet. Oh and of course I teach them the Artes Liberales, with much focus around the Trivium and Quadrivium. None of that three Rs crap.
So the students live in my bunker with me. My bunker is basically huge, and the students sleep in a separate area, or the night barracks. I sleep on the opposite side in my own private wing, along with chuck, earl and giganto, and triple M. It's a modest place, mostly candle lit; I can't stand light bulbs... they irritate my eyes. It is designed after mostly dark ages and gothic architect, and red carpeting and draping all around. It's quite lovely, actually, I picked out the carpeting myself. I am an avid fan of valuer.
Anyways! Now onto my day. I haven't really felt in the mood to go on a heist or harass my arch nemesis this week... Been one of those weeks I guess, so I spent some quality time with the students and their learning. A few students have caught my eye, mostly because they are not doing so well at all. I took them into my office and told it to them straight: If they don't get their shit straight I will be forced to throw them out! This isn't a day camp this is a place for henchmen and to learn the dark arts! I then told them I could also send them into another dimension... I think that would get their act together. I do not tolerate slackers!!!
I then made a phone call to the power plant. It had been a week since I gave them orders to build my diabolical machine! They were still working on it!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY DOING!? I gave them explicit orders: Get it done by next or so help me I WOULD SEND THEM INTO THE NINTH DIMENSION OF THE KINTHOC! When asked what that was I simply told them it's a place where my foot will meet their sorry asses if they don't get their shit together! Damn lazy workers... it's like they're lesser henchmen or something!!!!
After that I was still pretty angry so I decided to make a few more angry phone calls: My telephone bill had been raised, and I demanded to know why! They dared give me some pathetic excuse about how they were short handed and needed the money. They are not getting my money because they will not hire people!!!! I demanded the receptionist give me the number to the people who made the pricing decision, and then told her how long she had to live. I got the number. I then called them and told them that I would visit them in their nightmare and make them shit themselves daily if they did not lower my bill!! They sort of chuckled at first, then I summoned snaked to come out of their power sockets. Suddenly they gladly complied... It's amazing what a little persuasion can do on men.
I then had one of my cooks make my delicious sandwich with the bar be que chips on the top, and enjoyed my lunch while ANGRILY trying to figure out how the computer worked! It kept asking me for some stupid verification code. I had to call the microsoft and yell at them as well!! They simply said if I looked on the back of the case I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE HELL THAT IS!! I had one of my henchmen install the damn thing!! I am a magic guy not a mad scientist!!! I summoned my henchmen and demanded he talk to the lady, I would have nothing to do with this person any longer!!!! They were stupid.
Right, now if you'll excuse me I am going to take an ibuprofen and go to bed. Been a very long and ANGRY day!
So most of you don't know this but I have no significant other. Frankly I find the opposite, well not boring, but a bit mental. Especially in the mortal realm. I haven't found myself a nice witch or necromancer wife that could, well, stand my lifestyle. So I teach the students by myself.
Speaking of which! You're all probably wondering what I've been going on about with the whole teaching thing. You see I am actually all of my student's master. I don't get new students often, but I am basically the head instructor along with charlie and a few other of the seniors.We work on weapons training, hand to hand, summoning, basic magic, advanced magic, and a few of the students are learning stealth maneuvers. We just started that, I haven't gotten the chance to use it yet. Oh and of course I teach them the Artes Liberales, with much focus around the Trivium and Quadrivium. None of that three Rs crap.
So the students live in my bunker with me. My bunker is basically huge, and the students sleep in a separate area, or the night barracks. I sleep on the opposite side in my own private wing, along with chuck, earl and giganto, and triple M. It's a modest place, mostly candle lit; I can't stand light bulbs... they irritate my eyes. It is designed after mostly dark ages and gothic architect, and red carpeting and draping all around. It's quite lovely, actually, I picked out the carpeting myself. I am an avid fan of valuer.
Anyways! Now onto my day. I haven't really felt in the mood to go on a heist or harass my arch nemesis this week... Been one of those weeks I guess, so I spent some quality time with the students and their learning. A few students have caught my eye, mostly because they are not doing so well at all. I took them into my office and told it to them straight: If they don't get their shit straight I will be forced to throw them out! This isn't a day camp this is a place for henchmen and to learn the dark arts! I then told them I could also send them into another dimension... I think that would get their act together. I do not tolerate slackers!!!
I then made a phone call to the power plant. It had been a week since I gave them orders to build my diabolical machine! They were still working on it!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY DOING!? I gave them explicit orders: Get it done by next or so help me I WOULD SEND THEM INTO THE NINTH DIMENSION OF THE KINTHOC! When asked what that was I simply told them it's a place where my foot will meet their sorry asses if they don't get their shit together! Damn lazy workers... it's like they're lesser henchmen or something!!!!
After that I was still pretty angry so I decided to make a few more angry phone calls: My telephone bill had been raised, and I demanded to know why! They dared give me some pathetic excuse about how they were short handed and needed the money. They are not getting my money because they will not hire people!!!! I demanded the receptionist give me the number to the people who made the pricing decision, and then told her how long she had to live. I got the number. I then called them and told them that I would visit them in their nightmare and make them shit themselves daily if they did not lower my bill!! They sort of chuckled at first, then I summoned snaked to come out of their power sockets. Suddenly they gladly complied... It's amazing what a little persuasion can do on men.
I then had one of my cooks make my delicious sandwich with the bar be que chips on the top, and enjoyed my lunch while ANGRILY trying to figure out how the computer worked! It kept asking me for some stupid verification code. I had to call the microsoft and yell at them as well!! They simply said if I looked on the back of the case I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE HELL THAT IS!! I had one of my henchmen install the damn thing!! I am a magic guy not a mad scientist!!! I summoned my henchmen and demanded he talk to the lady, I would have nothing to do with this person any longer!!!! They were stupid.
Right, now if you'll excuse me I am going to take an ibuprofen and go to bed. Been a very long and ANGRY day!
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