Therapy went good, but we didn't have a heist planned today. Too bad.
So you guys have heard about all those monsters out there? You know, big foot, etc etc? Well here let me explain what those are, exactly.
These kind of things aren't demons or monsters per say, but animals from another dimension. Cryptids is quite a good name for them, actually.
So big foot is actually a hairy naked canadian guy. However, the yeti thing is quite real.Yeti's live mostly in snow areas because they come from a snow dimension. They've been known to be quite irritable, loud, and obviously hairy. However it's not their fur. Yeti's are completely incapable of wearing fur. So instead they skin the local wildlife and wear that. Kinda creepy eh?
Now loch ness is sort of a, how you say, sea dragon, if you will. It's actually a mixed breed between a snake, a sea turtle, and a manatee, and comes from a mad scientist known as professor critter. Yes, that's his real title. He's a bit of a creeper. Same with ogopogo and champ, though I think champ has become a log or something.... they tend to do that when they die.
The jersey devil is kinda this tiny horse with wings and a dogs head. it was a botched attempt at trying to re introduce the unicorn into the material realm. I don't know how they thought a dog and a bat would help but... yeah... Mostly it's just an embarrassment to necromancers and dark magicians. Warlocks just laugh at us.
Then ya got that skunk ape thing. Now, we thought it was a redneck hillbilly in a furry costume but when we ran into it it actually turned out to be some sort of monster. Not exactly a yeti... but if you've ever seen the time machine it's a bit like the elois. Like some giant muppet from the muppets. And it wreaks like hell. The damn thing spends most of its time in the water, so yeah it's going to smell like wet... uh.... gorilla monster... I'm an expert on demons not dimension beasts!
There's a monsters out in the congo the natives call Moleke-mbembe, which is a small brontosaurus. And that's basically what it is. Some zoologist and a botonist thought it would be funny to bring back this big ass brontosaurus to the congo to freak out all the natives. Course they didn't realize it would spend most of its time freaking hiding but hey whatever... Backfired practical jokes are always great.
Okay now... I shouldn't be telling you this... but mothman: He's like earth's deepthroat. No one knows dick about him. Hell I don't even know who he is. He's part of some secret intelligence office. He's basically our version of a CIA agent. Guy's creepy as hell. He's always wearing this long coat he got from the mortal realm, some weird hat, but his wings are always tucked under his jacket. He actually did go rogue, not like he sold any secrets or anything, but he stopped taking orders. I don't know what his connection was with the ohio river bridge was, though, but I heard he was palling around with some human. Anyways the mothman is kinda dangerous. He feeds off of... it's a bit hard to explain... you know when someone thinks that they're being watched by, say, the men in black, but they are just being over paranoid? Yeah, he feeds off of that and latches onto that shit like a leech.
That's about it, really. The rest is really nonsense and you already know about chupacabras, so... Yeah!
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